The Single Sidekick Handbook

20140225-190453.jpgWelcome back friends! Now that I’ve (hopefully) convinced you that being single has its benefits, I’m going to share how you can use your single status to benefit others as well! Selfless? Yea, I know.

This, of course, is done by being the best Single Sidekick you can be. Now, don’t get too hung-up on the word sidekick. I did not choose it to symbolize a lower worth for the single girl, but rather, I chose it because although we are the leading ladies in our own lives, we also need to be there for our friends in a supportive role when they need us.

With your single friends – As a Single Sidekick, you are usually going to be the one your friends call when they get dumped and need to vent. This is where you show up with ice cream, pizza, and any/all other comfort food necessary for a satisfying after breakup binge. Don’t worry though, it’s not all tears and inspirational “you were always too good for him (or her as the case may be)” speeches, because once you’ve returned your friend to her confident and spunky self you’re also the one she calls to go do awesome new activiti20140225-190445.jpges or take spontaneous trips. This is where you get to assume the typical “wingwoman” role, as she will for you, and have fun making great memories with even greater people.

With your couple friends – When out for a girls night, uninvited “advances” are almost a given. To avoid awkwardness and become the hero of the night, it is a good idea to “jump on the grenade” by distracting and redirecting the annoyance elsewhere. Single Sidekick to the rescue or what? Although “I have a boyfriend” or even “I’m married” should send them packing, sometimes desperation (usually mixed with some liquid courage) makes any woman seem like fair game. In this situation, a Single Sidekick may also seize the opportunity to redirect the group. I’m not suggesting you run away scared, or leave because you feel uncomfortable – you have just as much right to be there as anyone else – but if the night is trailing off this is the perfect excuse to reboot the evening and head off to a new and exciting activity.Friends-With-Kids-Poster

When your couple friends have kids – The offer of free babysitting is always a nice gesture. Allowing your friends to take a break and rejoin the social world for a night will not only leave them more relaxed, but will also allow you to enjoy a night in and earn you brownie points to boot! Couples often have the misconception that single life is an endless cycle of disposable income and late night adventures, but it is always nice to change pace and see how the other half lives, even just for a night.

Consider this post my Single Sidekick bat-signal on behalf of all of your friends. Go forth, and be the best Single Sidekick you can!

And what better place to start than with more research?!

Here are some other blogs to consider:

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It really isn’t the end of the world…

In my opinion, a good way to start this blog is to explain a few of the reasons I believe being single is not the end of the world. Many people associate the world single with the word alone, but this is rarely the case. I, myself, have been single for the vast majority of my life, but I have never been truly alone. Surrounded by friends and family, or even more casual relationships such as co-workers or classmates, one is not cut off from all social interaction simply because they are not currently romantically attached to another human being. This attachment, as a matter of fact, has its downsides.

Atumblr_mhfsdmRSfM1qdzervo1_500long with the cute ‘good morning’ texts and the promise of a date on valentine’s day, relationships also tend to bring with them newfound hobbies, interests and personality traits, some of which are not entirely appealing. Granted, one of the key aspects of any sucessful relationship is compromise, but in some instances, one person does all of the compromising, constantly changing themselves until they are no longer sure what they were like before the relationship started. This may seem dramatic, but I have seen it happen on many occassions. This brings me to the first reason I see being single as a positive; the fact that being single forces you to be your own person.

Being perpetually single, as I, and assumingly the vast majority of this blog’s readers are, generates a strong sense of self and makes it much more difficult for a relationship to change you. On the other hand, jumping from relationship to relationship simply for the companionship and not because of an actual desire to be with each person creates a dependancy, and typically results in you as an individual being forgotten. This is not to say that all relationships damage the entity of the individual, but just that being single allows one the time to consider what they want out of life (or even a relationship for that matter).

Being single also means that you are essentially free to do what you please. You don’t need to worry about whether hanginenhanced-buzz-16425-1366397787-19g out with a specific friend will offend your significant other, or debate about what constitutes flirting. For those just exiting relationships, this also means getting to go to that restaurant your ex hated but you’ve always loved and watching tv marathons without judgement. These may seem trivial in comparison to a serious, loving relationship, but there is a lot to be said for the importance of freedom.

Seeing as this blog is not out to bash relationships though, I will also say this: being single allows you to appreciate a good relationship. The single life is great, for the reasons I’ve stated and of course many others, but for some people, life within a relationship is a better fit. For these people, being single gives them the perspective to recognize a good relationship, and the drive to work towards maintaining it. The aforementioned sense of self will allow them to hold out for what they deserve, but it will also guide them towards people more aligned with their thoughts, values and life goals as to ensure a more healthy and lasting relationship in the long run.

Last, but definitely not least, I can’t discuss the upsides of being single without mentioning the serenity of having the bed to yourself. Sure, cuddling can be fun, but nothing feels better after a long day at school/work/the gym etc. than falling into bed and being able to stretch out, knowing that the covers will remain in your possession until morning.